Tag: we can do hard things

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Life Lessons for My Daughters

This week marks the first few days of school for my girls. 

My oldest is entering Middle School and my youngest, 4th grade.  After being home since March, they are excited to be back in the classroom.  And like every other year, September brings along the ending of summer, the end of the beach for our family, and the easy breezy schedule that I love. 

This year, school is different for so many of us, lots to navigate, lots of taking it day by day as we transition back into a new year with lots of unknowns as COVID is still present and has made things look a lot different this year.

As a mom, I have so many emotions and especially with my oldest entering a new school this year, just wanting her to find her way, feel confident, and settle in. 

It is a lot to navigate which got me to thinking, I am always sharing some type of lesson with my kids.  My husband will joke when I start going down that path, “here goes mom, life lesson #547”.  We usually pause, laugh, and then I go on with my lesson because I feel they are important.  

Starting school again always brings up a lot of emotions, a lot of conversations at home about their thoughts, how they feel, and reactions to what is happening to them and what they observe.  So since that was on my mind today as I sat down to write this, I wanted to share some here.  Coincidentally, these lessons are lessons I have been learning and saying to myself as an adult, but they can be applied at any age, so I figure why not start them young!

Here are some of my favorites that seem to be on repeat ….

  1. You may be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches; not everyone is going to love you but those who do will love you hard
  2. Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business so do not take them personally
  3. Comparison is the thief of joy; everyone has their own journey and you have yours so stay in your lane
  4. You never know what someone is going through, be kind
  5. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, and pay attention to when you surround yourself with people who don’t
  6. Use your voice, be your own advocate.  If you need something or something does not seem right, speak up
  7. As yourself, “What can I learn from this?”.. Every experience is meant to teach you something new
  8. You are enough, love who you are – you do not need other peoples validation

I 100% have more lessons (I mean, to get to #547!!!), but these are the ones we have been working on in my house recently.  Hope they empower you and inspire you!  We can do hard things!  

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We Can Do HARD Things

This is Hard.


Today, I am just sad. My daughter left after staying with me for 3 weeks. We did not have a single fight which is epic news (one minor scuffle in the Verizon store but technology challenges don’t count, right?). She loves to cook, and I love to eat, so we are a perfect pair. I even watched some throw away shows on Netflix that I eventually got sucked into. This time it was Single Wives. I did see some educational value in the show because it was about 4 single women looking to find love led by a relationship coach, and I thought I could learn something since I am a coach myself.

Honestly, though, I just plain miss her.

Saying goodbye without really knowing when you will see your kids again hurts. Empty nesting brings up all sorts of feelings, and if you add a global pandemic on top of empty nesting, it feels 100x worse.

Given that I am a coach and supposed to know how to pull myself out of this funk, what to do?

First and foremost, I am honest about how I am feeling, and I am choosing to stay sad. In the past, I would have worked until I didn’t feel anything. And, in fairness, this strategy worked for me for a very long time. The downstream effect of this behavior though was that I was very disconnected from myself and this caused me to think and act in ways that were not truly beneficial to my overall well-being.

Despite what you may think, coaching isn’t always about making yourself feel better.

I think there is a very common misperception that this is what coaches do. Many times, I am working with my clients on simply acknowledging how they are feeling – raising their level of awareness. You would be surprised how often we skim over this part. Sometimes we are so busy taking care of others and our lives in general, the last person we focus on is ourselves. So today, I acknowledged how I was feeling and did not rush through it. I also surrounded myself with some amazingly uplifting friends (Life is Messy). And now, I am writing about this topic. I am taking action and not letting my feelings debilitate me. I believe this is a much more accurate depiction of how coaching works.

 
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