As I sit down to write, I have been thinking of what it means to experience “endings”; things ending, coming to a close, and the period of transitioning to what’s next. I am thinking about my own experience with endings recently, and noticing the emotions that have been coming up as I navigate through some transitional times.
I just ended my 6 week workshop through HCC, and noticed on the last day, as I signed off, this feeling of emptiness as I thought to myself, “ok, what do I do now?” The workshop was so fun and fulfilling and yet it consumed my focus and energy for the entire 6 weeks. I am noticing that I am conditioned to always have my mind focused and always going going going. To be focused on being “productive” and “busy”, having my worth tied to this idea of “doing”. I am trying to embrace this space and allow for creativity, for inner guidance and knowing of what to do next versus forcing it. For me, this slowing down, feeling less “productive”, feels uncomfortable.
Seasons changing also has made me think about endings.
The warm weather is starting to turn here in NY, and we have been blessed to have spent an amazingly beautiful summer and early fall outdoors. We have taken full advantage of being able to be socially distanced, outdoors, and see friends. But that is already starting to change as it gets colder out, and I feel sad to think we now need to go indoors for the next few months which will ultimately result in limited social interactions with friends and family as a result of the pandemic.
While endings always come with new beginnings, I think with all of this happening at once, I am really sitting in the feelings of the shift.
I am noticing sadness, a loss in identity, some confusion, and ultimately discomfort as I am being forced to change gears, some which I am not so ready to shift.
Part of the process of working through any ending is acknowledging something as an ending, and the shift /disengage from the activities and relationships. We often are so quick to move to the next thing, to fill our time, and be busy. For me it’s noticing that I am really uncomfortable to sit in the transition. I’m working to embrace the stillness, the feelings, the reflections, the discomfort, as I trust it serves a purpose.
Another ending mg mind goes to is my daughter recently graduating elementary school this past June. And how with every ending comes a beginning, and in September she started Middle School and it has been such a great experience so far. She has matured a lot over the past couple of months and like anything in life, she is adjusting, navigating, growing and evolving!
Endings can be big or small, they can be relationships, jobs, chapters in our life; some endings we choose and some we don’t, but regardless, they come with their fair share of feelings and thoughts.
Endings allow us to explore new possibilities, make peace with change, and begin moving forward. So as I look at my life, my business, the seasons, and whatever is next to end, I am open to observing how I feel, how I want to pause and acknowledge the feelings and what they represent and can teach me, and with new, wiser eyes, look forward with excitement of what’s next.
Curious about anything you’ve read or want to explore your thoughts, feelings, and how they may be impacting how you show up, schedule a FREE discovery call with me, Kristine by clicking on this link HERE. I would love to dive deeper with you!
