Tag: life coaching

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A Story About Fear.

A story about FEAR.

A few weeks ago Tracy Hensel asked me if I was interested in conducting a “live” coaching session on her You Tube channel for her viewers to learn more about what a one on one session looks like.  At first, my head said, “um, no way”  

I immediately felt RESISTANCE, which is so normal when you are asked to do something uncomfortable and unfamiliar.  Resistance is associated with fear, I wanted to run away and hide.

Fear by definition is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat” 

Our body feels fear first.  When Tracy asked the question, I felt the fear and resistance in my body (some examples of feeling fear are chest tightens, heart starts beating faster, throat closes, stomach drops), but I paused long enough (and didn’t respond “NO WAY!” right away like my mind wanted me to), and my conscious mind stepped in, “Wait, there is no danger, no threat.  Of course you feel uncomfortable, you will be putting yourself out there so a lot of fears pop up (fear of looking stupid, fear of what others will think, fear of failure) however, you are safe and you CAN do hard things”  I knew that the feeling of resistance was telling me EXACTLY what I need to do, so I responded “YES”

Of course, I am still feeling discomfort and I have this mixture of nervous excitement about the whole thing.  My mind keeps trying to keep me safe, for example, I have a little imposter syndrome (like, who am I to think I can live on a You Tube channel for all to see?!?!?”) and moments of, “oh no, are you sure you want to go through with this?” but I know better and I know not to listen to my mind in those moments. 

Like everyone, I have had these moments of fear and resistance before (only now because of the mindfulness work that I do and I teach, I know how to manage it!!), and instead of letting it completely consume me, I can shift my thinking about it.  So instead, I ask myself “How can I make this more fun?”,  “How can I use this as a learning experience?”, “How do I want to show up? I can focus on that” and my favorite, shifting to gratitude, “Thank you, I am grateful for this experience”

While the fear is still there, shifting my thoughts around it helps tremendously.  It enables me to go from powerless and emotional, to feeling powerful.  And I also remember WHY I said YES, because it’s a pretty cool opportunity, I love coaching and want more people to understand the impact of it and how special it really is, and we only grow from challenging ourselves so playing small and staying safe isn’t what I am here for.

Will it be perfect, ummm, no, nothing is. 

But progress over perfection, and simply showing up, as my best, most authentic self, and doing my best to create a safe, open space for my client is the goal here.  I look at this as one more experience to enjoy, learn, and grow from!  

I hope you will join me tomorrow, Wednesday May 19 at 6PM EST for Hensel Coaching and Consultings first (hopefully of many!) live coaching on You Tube!  If you like what you see, or are curious yourself of coaching and how you can benefit from it, schedule a FREE discovery call with me.  

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I love this quote on fear, so much comes up for me when I read it!  Hope it brings up some thoughts for you too!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles” 

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5 Ways Hiring a Career Coach Will Impact Your Life

Confession – the definition I had of a career coach a few years ago is very different than the one I have now.

When I was hiring a career coach, I was completely resume focused. I needed someone to help me update my resume because that was for sure the reason, I was not getting any interviews.

It feels kind of funny even to write that now. But you know what? We all live and learn. I could have chosen to beat myself up for not knowing what to expect when hiring a career coach back when I was looking for one. I thought for sure the main reason I was not getting any interviews was because of my resume. It wasn’t grabbing anyone’s attention just yet. If someone professional could tweak it, I just knew it would help.

What a fun story I was telling myself back then. But that story, combined with my coaching certifications, has led me to a whole new realization around how hiring a career coach will impact your life. I have chosen not to beat myself up for that former thought; instead, I will use it as a learning lesson. And tip one stems right from that point.

1 – BIG PICTURE THINKING

As your career coach, my vision is everything from the next logical step to where you want to be five-ten years from now. We even discuss your ideal retirement age! Yes, you need your resume updated but let’s dig into all of your ideal work components.

Much like I did when I hired my first career coach, I was caught up in the current timeframe. I needed a job. I was scared that my unemployment gap would not be a great thing to showcase on my resume. What I wasn’t considering, however, was my bigger picture. I was taking everything with me straight to the next job. I interviewed with the negative, victimized energy of someone who had just lost a job they love and did well. They felt that.

Once I could hit pause and work with a coach to better understand my mindset and where I was coming from, my energy changed. I was more confident, and the excitement shined through to land my dream role. A career coach is going to help you adjust the lens that you typically look through.

When you do that, you start to see a different picture. One that is larger than the immediate need. A vision of how you want to feel in your next job. Is being rewarded and recognized important to you? If so, we better find ways to land you a job that either does this or knows how you measure success.

2 – ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

A teacher shares information with you. Mentors share experiences. Coaches ask open-ended questions. The agenda is not about them. In fact, the best coaches have nothing to do with the conversation from a personal perspective. Instead, they focus 100% on you. They are your accountability partner to set you up to solve your problem or achieve your goal successfully.

After my clients and I are done with our session, I follow up with an email outlining what we all discussed, their to-dos before our next meeting. If they don’t do them, that tells me something, and we can dig into that. I don’t give them a free pass and say no biggie. They hired me to keep them accountable and on track. We are doing something far greater than they can do or would do on their own.

For me personally, I know that when I have someone who is pulling me forward and challenging me to stay focused on what I said was important to me, I will thrive way more. That is what a coach does for me. And I know I am way further along because of it.

3 – EXPERIENCED EXPERTISE

Companies are not only interviewing you, but you are also interviewing them. Walking into an interview with a bag full of examples and being able to share and articulate what you are looking for is a win-win for both parties.

I can speak to this one from experience. When I lost my first job, I interviewed for over a year before landing my job. And several of those interviews, I made it past the second and third interviews.

Being a career change coach and having been through where my clients will be going, is vital. I’ve been there. And we all know what we learn when we are helping someone else through an experience, we have been through ourselves. Some days I think I should write a book around all the lessons I learned in those interviewing months. Ask me about taking an ice pack in my pocket once to an interview…

4 – BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE

I received my coaching certification through the reputable program iPEC. This certification required me to have almost 150 hours of training. Personally, it took me about a year. And the one thing that I can say it gave me the most was a huge boost in self-awareness, which lead to great self-confidence.

I can’t help someone else build up their confidence if mine is gone. I could try, but it just wouldn’t be as effective. Coaches help you see the areas you are missing. They give you insights that you may not want to hear but need to hear. And all of this builds on your personal awareness, which can only boost your self-confidence.

In my Design Your Dream Career program, we start with the mindset. Many professional women come to me, defeated and exhausted. They are miserable in their job, and yet they think finding a new job is the answer. And yet, you take those same behaviors and thoughts with you to the next job, and they never get resolved.

Showing up focused and ready for a new role requires us to pause and work on ourselves a bit first. Then we can dig into where we want to go with a clear mind and a knowing of who we are down to our core. And I guarantee this stage will impact your life in all areas.

5 – INSTILLS MOTIVATION

Feeling motivation and maintaining motivation can be tough on your own. For many of us, distractions can happen easily and often. That isn’t a helpful place for someone who needs to be spending time searching for a job, updating a resume, and connecting with new leads.

Maintaining a focus and building up your energy to keep a full tank of gas is vital. It also ensures you avoid pitfalls and disappointment. Because there will be some, you will find the dream job and hear nothing back. And it will completely defeat you and set you back. Speaking from experience here… But the key is how fast you can rebound in that space and re-focus.

Going through that process solo will likely take way more time than if you have a coach who can call to help get you back up and moving forward. Speaking again from experience there… family and spouses are helpful in these situations. Still, nothing beats a third party that is not connected to you personally and instead is there 100% for you to achieve your goal. That is their one and main focus.

If you are looking to find your dream job and have no clue how to get started, let’s connect. There is no reason to feel alone and overwhelmed. Hiring a career coach will impact your life. I know because it did for me. And remember, we can always begin again. No matter our age.

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