Tag: growth

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The Middle Is MESSY!

The middle is messy.

Yet, difficult to recognize when you are in it.  It just feels messy, uncomfortable, and out of your control. 

But what I have noticed is that once you are aware that you are “in the middle”, it’s so much easier to navigate. 

In Brene Brown’s book, Rising Strong, she says “You can’t skip day 2”… 

So, what happens on day 2 and why can’t you skip it?

Let’s start with Day 1.  

Think about a time you started something new.  You probably feel excited and open to possibility, you feel ready change and you may feel nervous and excited at time same time EEEKK (ie. the first day of a new job, new diet, new relationship, new assignment at work, any time it’s your first time doing something!  … DAY 1, the start, the beginning ….), 

However, once that honeymoon phase fades away, something new can suddenly feel really hard.  The middle, day 2.  It’s common when starting something new.  You want to have the feeling that you “know what you are doing” and are confident in yourself and the direction you are going….. 

However, as with anything new, it can feel like the complete opposite and it can often feel like a struggle.

How can you make it easier?  Can we skip day 2?!?!?

The answer is NOPE.

THE MIDDLE IS MESSY!  Yet, it’s a crucial part of the process.  You can not skip the middle in your process of GROWTH, no matter what it is.  When you are growing (in the middle of change and something new), you feel uncertain, vulnerable, unfamiliar, and it feels like struggle covered in insecurity and self doubt.  

It is normal to feel resistance and to feel like you want to give up, yet you must stay the course.  

Day 3 is where you feel like you’ve made it.  It feels easier, you are in a groove, you created the new habits, the work you are doing is “familiar”, you feel in flow and like you are in control.  

It’s like the new job where it seemed impossible that you would ever figure it all out, but then suddenly, it all clicks.

It’s like being a new mom where you feel like you have no idea what you are doing, but suddenly you figure it out (kinda LOL)

I mean, who doesn’t LOVE the feeling of Day 3?!?!?!!?

We all do.  

But how can we begin to recognize and acknowledge that “day 2” is a necessity.  It is part of the process, it is where the growth happens.

Often times we do not realize we are in “day 2” (and day 2 usually lasts much more than a day!).   You may feel resistance, self doubt, and very unsure if you are where you are meant to be.  It’s super uncomfortable, but so normal.  

However, once you begin to acknowledge that you are in the middle of the mess and “in the thick of it”, things can start to shift.  

To acknowledge that it’s hard, that you do not have all the answers, that you have to trust that your decisions and choices you are making, and that you will course correct and continue to move forward. 

Questions to ask yourself when you are in the middle are …

  • “What is the opportunity here?”, 
  • “How can I have more fun with this?”,  
  • “How can I shift my thinking to the idea that “I am learning” vs “I am failing”?
  • “How can I take the pressure off so I begin to become more curious versus judgemental?”
  • “How do I find gratitude in the journey?”

“The middle is messy, but that is where the magic happens” Brene Brown.  That is where you learn, grow, become resilient and transform!

Use the questions above to make the journey that much more enjoyable!

Going through the messy middle?  Starting something new and feeling like working with a coach may help?  Not sure where to start?  

I help women create change in their lives so they can have the confidence to make decisions that allow them to finally feel free.  Book a free discovery call with me to learn more!

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A Reflection On Endings

As I sit down to write, I have been thinking of what it means to experience “endings”; things ending, coming to a close, and the period of transitioning to what’s next.  I am thinking about my own experience with endings recently, and noticing the emotions that have been coming up as I navigate through some transitional times.

I just ended my 6 week workshop through HCC, and noticed on the last day, as I signed off, this feeling of emptiness as I thought to myself, “ok, what do I do now?”  The workshop was so fun and fulfilling and yet it consumed my focus and energy for the entire 6 weeks.  I am noticing that I am conditioned to always have my mind focused and always going going going.  To be focused on being “productive” and “busy”, having my worth tied to this idea of “doing”.  I am trying to embrace this space and allow for creativity, for inner guidance and knowing of what to do next versus forcing it. For me, this slowing down, feeling less “productive”, feels uncomfortable.  

Seasons changing also has made me think about endings. 

The warm weather is starting to turn here in NY, and we have been blessed to have spent an amazingly beautiful summer and early fall outdoors.  We have taken full advantage of being able to be socially distanced, outdoors, and see friends.  But that is already starting to change as it gets colder out, and I feel sad to think we now need to go indoors for the next few months which will ultimately result in limited social interactions with friends and family as a result of the pandemic.

While endings always come with new beginnings, I think with all of this happening at once, I am really sitting in the feelings of the shift.  

I am noticing sadness, a loss in identity, some confusion, and ultimately discomfort as I am being forced to change gears, some which I am not so ready to shift.

Part of the process of working through any ending is acknowledging something as an ending, and the shift /disengage from the activities and relationships.  We often are so quick to move to the next thing, to fill our time, and be busy.  For me it’s noticing that I am really uncomfortable to sit in the transition.  I’m working to embrace the stillness, the feelings, the reflections, the discomfort, as I trust it serves a purpose.

Another ending mg mind goes to is my daughter recently graduating elementary school this past June.  And how with every ending comes a beginning, and in September she started Middle School and it has been such a great experience so far.  She has matured a lot over the past couple of months and like anything in life, she is adjusting, navigating, growing and evolving!

Endings can be big or small, they can be relationships, jobs, chapters in our life; some endings we choose and some we don’t, but regardless, they come with their fair share of feelings and thoughts. 

Endings allow us to explore new possibilities, make peace with change, and begin moving forward.  So as I look at my life, my business, the seasons, and whatever is next to end, I am open to observing how I feel, how I want to pause and acknowledge the feelings and what they represent and can teach me, and with new, wiser eyes, look forward with excitement of what’s next. 

Curious about anything you’ve read or want to explore your thoughts, feelings, and how they may be impacting how you show up, schedule a FREE discovery call with me, Kristine by clicking on this link HERE. I would love to dive deeper with you!