Tag: gratitude

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What To Do When Gratitude is *Sold Out*?

I have been experiencing a feeling lately that is pretty darn hard to shake. It’s the one where Gratitude is Sold Out. 

You know when you go to a store looking for something specific, knowing exactly what aisle it lives on, ready to quickly grab it and go? You’ve already bought it in your mind. You’re practically pulling out your wallet as you approach the product. This time, when you show up, it isn’t there. 

You ask the clerk, “Hi there! Is there any more of this?” 

“Sorry, we’re sold out.”

That’s it; full stop. Maybe I can check another store, maybe I can order it online, but as far as it goes here in this store, I am walking out empty handed. We simply move on. 

In certain situations in our lives, sometimes Gratitude is simply *Sold Out*. Our internal clerk says, “Sorry, no more. Can’t help you. Move along.”  When all has gone to sh*t, and there’s seemingly even more on the way, it’s simply unthinkable to pick up some good’ol Gratitude. 

This, just like every other energy in our life, is an energy. It is there for a reason, serves a purpose and can be transformed. So how do we respond when Gratitude is Sold Out?

One way is to play the catastrophe game. The absolute bottom-out, unbearably indulgent, utterly ridiculous pity party fiesta. 

Why? Because the inability to see or feel gratitude stems from a frame of mind, not from our objective experience. If we’re missing out on gratitude, we’re probably missing out on a lot more. Something is holding us back. So if something needs to be felt, heard, or expressed–let’s address it. Lack of gratitude can be a passive-aggressive sign from our deeper selves that something is off, going unaddressed or needs to be expressed. 

The voice that nags–that is judging our experience, saying that what we have isn’t enough, should be different or better, or doesn’t matter, is clearly unhappy with something. Instead of calling it ungrateful, annoying or selfish, what happens when you give it some real air time and stay present with what it has to say? 

See just how badly the pity party can get. What is fun about this is the freedom to indulge in the story. The “he-said-she-said,” “that’s not fair” and “why me”-s are free to run wild. Let it all hang out. Stay present for all of it. Listen intently and compassionately to yourself and validate your own experience. You can even try calling a friend and giving the disclaimer, “I need to get this out and be witnessed in my anger, sadness and despair. Can you hold this space for me?” Know that you can write this entire sob story, make it the next best drama-filled reality TV show on Netflix and still re-read it and choose a different life without ever having to act it out in your life. This is conscious living. 

Allowing all parts of ourselves to own their respective stories allows us to take a step back from our feelings of anger, sadness and worry and choose what we want to take with us. Allow yourself to be human, to feel and express it all and also to evaluate before choosing. Is this really how I feel? How do I want to feel? What is actually going right here?

Sometimes we need to dip into the sob story to understand our power to change it. The difference is that we are doing it consciously. This is how we move ourselves out of victimhood and into agency. So try on a new story and see how it feels, even if it means finally having the pity party you haven’t allowed yourself to have. Gratitude will surely come back into stock. 


This is a great video that can help remind us of the daily gifts we are missing out on, but don’t reject yourself when Gratitude is sold out. We all run out sometimes. Trust yourself.

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With love and light, 


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A Reflection on Gratitude

I recently completed my own version of a 21 day challenge on my Kristine Iandiorio Coaching Facebook page. 

I had the idea about a month ago, as I have been practicing gratitude since March and I had started to observe a shift in myself and wanted to share it.  And what better time than leading into Thanksgiving and the holiday season!?!?!  So I figured, “why not?”

So, as with everything, it is important to know and connect with “why am I doing this?”  A few reasons came to mind but a quote by Brene Brown that I had seen recently, really stuck with me, “We are a nation struggling to find joy because we are starving from a lack of gratitude” 

I so often talk to people who are struggling; and I observe it all around me and honestly, have felt it myself more often based on what is happening all around us.  There is so much uncertainty in our world today; we are in the midst of this pandemic which is still impacting our daily lives in a profound way, heading into the holiday season that looks different this year and many of us are missing family and friends.  Also, this was right around election day in the US and there was such heaviness of the emotions and tension that was being felt.  I thought, why not share this practice that has really changed my perspective with others.  If anything, it can bring some joy and new perspective to those who follow me, and it felt good to share something that means something to me.

I’ve always heard that having a gratitude practice is key for happy and successful people. 

Studies show that people who take the time to express gratitude and appreciate what they have been shown to be happier, more successful and more positive.   And in my opinion, it is pretty simple to do, it is just a matter of making time for it.

My gratitude practice consists of a nighttime routine of writing down 3 things I am grateful for. 

I include WHY I am grateful for those things, which helps to connect on a deeper level and really feel my appreciation (“I am grateful for ______ because ________”).   In the past I had just listed all the things I was grateful for, but I really enjoy adding the “because” because it helps me to connect to what I am grateful for on a deeper level and really FEEL it.  You can be grateful for what happened in your day, the people in your life, things that happened in your past that got you to where you are today, and things happening in the future that you are excited for – anything goes and it is always fun to see what you come up with when you sit down to reflect and write.

The thing I love about this is I end my day on a positive, I am looking for the good and what I appreciate in my life, and then I relish in whatever pops up and sometimes spend some time to  journal about it, or just think happy thoughts about it. 

You can personalize your practice and do what works for you.  I know many people who do this in the morning as part of their morning routine!

Full disclosure, starting new habits can be hard, I am human, some days I fall off the habit wagon and forget or neglect my new habit. 

And since I have been doing this since March, I have observed that sometimes, I’ve fallen off for days at a time.  First, I am mindful not to beat myself up about this, because that just leads to negative energy.  Second, I usually notice that I feel “off” for some reason, and when I start to think about why, I realize, “oh I am not doing XYZ!  I was feeling so good when I was doing that every night.  Let me get back on track”  As far as habits go, I think the best example of this is exercise or eating healthy, you notice when you stop that you feel differently!  

So, when I’ve noticed I have fallen off the wagon, I simply set an intention to get back into it.

What helps me is to schedule an appointment with myself on my calendar (setting an actual appointment on your calendar is the best way to do this, time block yourself and commit to your appointments like you would with anyone else!)  This is a great trick for helping you to create any new habit, because it’s easy to forget what we set out to do or the day gets away from us.  I also like to have an accountability partner when trying to commit to something new. 

I work with a lot of my clients on what type of accountability works best for them.  For myself, I will often “sign up” for a challenge with a friend so we can do it together.  For this challenge, I actually put it out on social media and committed to showing up every day.  Here, I had to keep myself accountable but it worked because I didn’t want anyone to call me out if I didn’t post one day and I didn’t want to let myself down by taking the easy way out on the days I just didn’t feel like doing it (because that happens to all of us!)

So, for 21 days, I shared my gratitude for whatever I was feeling in the moment.  I really enjoyed it and it was nice to hear some people who were following me express that they enjoyed it too.  

The interesting thing I have noticed since I started to take time to reflect and look for things I am grateful for, is that I actually have begun to have moments of appreciation throughout my day.  I will pause, and observe something, feel my heart swell and have a moment of appreciation IN THE MOMENT.  I love these moments, because as someone who has lived a life on auto-pilot (which I feel like is so true for so many of us!), I realize that I am able to be present, and to truly not let moments pass me by and it helps my energy level stay positive, and I am ultimately happier and appreciative. 

I have also used ‘gratitude on demand”, and in stressful situations, I look for what I am grateful for in that moment and it can help to shift my energy and perspective.

In coaching, it is all about raising your awareness, so that you are able to CHOOSE how you respond vs. react, CHOOSE what you decide to give your energy to or not, CHOOSE what you want to focus on (positive or negative) … we have a choice in all we do.  We can choose to look for gratitude, to look for what’s good in our life, instead of focusing on the negative or what is going wrong.  The new habit of looking for things in my life to be grateful for has truly helped me be more aware and choose what I want to focus on.

The challenge was a good experiment for me, I enjoyed it and learned some things along the way. 

My clients and I use the word experiment a lot in our coaching.  Life is an experiment, it is always good to try something new or to try a new approach to handling a situation or problem.  This helps a lot as we navigate through life, it helps us to take the pressure off (there is no need to strive for perfection because we are trying something out), and it helps us to be flexible and not tied to an outcome (the idea that you can learn from whatever you choose to do, change your mind, and see what sticks is always a great approach to any new endeavor).  

If you are looking to create a gratitude practice and have any questions, please reach out!  And if you are looking to create some new habits, to shift your perspective, want to feel more joy in your life, or work through something you are struggling with, I would love to chat with you.  Click on this link to set up a FREE discovery call. 

Coaching helps you stick with your goals and provides an accountability partner to support you in achieving them!  

I would love to leave you with some of my favorite gratitude quotes ….

  1. Gratitude turns what we have into enough 
  2. Without gratitude and appreciation for what you have, you will never know true fulfillment
  3. When you are grateful, fears disappear and abundance appears