A story about FEAR.
A few weeks ago Tracy Hensel asked me if I was interested in conducting a “live” coaching session on her You Tube channel for her viewers to learn more about what a one on one session looks like. At first, my head said, “um, no way”
I immediately felt RESISTANCE, which is so normal when you are asked to do something uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Resistance is associated with fear, I wanted to run away and hide.
Fear by definition is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat”
Our body feels fear first. When Tracy asked the question, I felt the fear and resistance in my body (some examples of feeling fear are chest tightens, heart starts beating faster, throat closes, stomach drops), but I paused long enough (and didn’t respond “NO WAY!” right away like my mind wanted me to), and my conscious mind stepped in, “Wait, there is no danger, no threat. Of course you feel uncomfortable, you will be putting yourself out there so a lot of fears pop up (fear of looking stupid, fear of what others will think, fear of failure) however, you are safe and you CAN do hard things” I knew that the feeling of resistance was telling me EXACTLY what I need to do, so I responded “YES”
Of course, I am still feeling discomfort and I have this mixture of nervous excitement about the whole thing. My mind keeps trying to keep me safe, for example, I have a little imposter syndrome (like, who am I to think I can live on a You Tube channel for all to see?!?!?”) and moments of, “oh no, are you sure you want to go through with this?” but I know better and I know not to listen to my mind in those moments.
Like everyone, I have had these moments of fear and resistance before (only now because of the mindfulness work that I do and I teach, I know how to manage it!!), and instead of letting it completely consume me, I can shift my thinking about it. So instead, I ask myself “How can I make this more fun?”, “How can I use this as a learning experience?”, “How do I want to show up? I can focus on that” and my favorite, shifting to gratitude, “Thank you, I am grateful for this experience”
While the fear is still there, shifting my thoughts around it helps tremendously. It enables me to go from powerless and emotional, to feeling powerful. And I also remember WHY I said YES, because it’s a pretty cool opportunity, I love coaching and want more people to understand the impact of it and how special it really is, and we only grow from challenging ourselves so playing small and staying safe isn’t what I am here for.
Will it be perfect, ummm, no, nothing is.
But progress over perfection, and simply showing up, as my best, most authentic self, and doing my best to create a safe, open space for my client is the goal here. I look at this as one more experience to enjoy, learn, and grow from!
I hope you will join me tomorrow, Wednesday May 19 at 6PM EST for Hensel Coaching and Consultings first (hopefully of many!) live coaching on You Tube! If you like what you see, or are curious yourself of coaching and how you can benefit from it, schedule a FREE discovery call with me.
I love this quote on fear, so much comes up for me when I read it! Hope it brings up some thoughts for you too!
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
