Author: Hensel Coaching

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A Reflection on Gratitude

I recently completed my own version of a 21 day challenge on my Kristine Iandiorio Coaching Facebook page. 

I had the idea about a month ago, as I have been practicing gratitude since March and I had started to observe a shift in myself and wanted to share it.  And what better time than leading into Thanksgiving and the holiday season!?!?!  So I figured, “why not?”

So, as with everything, it is important to know and connect with “why am I doing this?”  A few reasons came to mind but a quote by Brene Brown that I had seen recently, really stuck with me, “We are a nation struggling to find joy because we are starving from a lack of gratitude” 

I so often talk to people who are struggling; and I observe it all around me and honestly, have felt it myself more often based on what is happening all around us.  There is so much uncertainty in our world today; we are in the midst of this pandemic which is still impacting our daily lives in a profound way, heading into the holiday season that looks different this year and many of us are missing family and friends.  Also, this was right around election day in the US and there was such heaviness of the emotions and tension that was being felt.  I thought, why not share this practice that has really changed my perspective with others.  If anything, it can bring some joy and new perspective to those who follow me, and it felt good to share something that means something to me.

I’ve always heard that having a gratitude practice is key for happy and successful people. 

Studies show that people who take the time to express gratitude and appreciate what they have been shown to be happier, more successful and more positive.   And in my opinion, it is pretty simple to do, it is just a matter of making time for it.

My gratitude practice consists of a nighttime routine of writing down 3 things I am grateful for. 

I include WHY I am grateful for those things, which helps to connect on a deeper level and really feel my appreciation (“I am grateful for ______ because ________”).   In the past I had just listed all the things I was grateful for, but I really enjoy adding the “because” because it helps me to connect to what I am grateful for on a deeper level and really FEEL it.  You can be grateful for what happened in your day, the people in your life, things that happened in your past that got you to where you are today, and things happening in the future that you are excited for – anything goes and it is always fun to see what you come up with when you sit down to reflect and write.

The thing I love about this is I end my day on a positive, I am looking for the good and what I appreciate in my life, and then I relish in whatever pops up and sometimes spend some time to  journal about it, or just think happy thoughts about it. 

You can personalize your practice and do what works for you.  I know many people who do this in the morning as part of their morning routine!

Full disclosure, starting new habits can be hard, I am human, some days I fall off the habit wagon and forget or neglect my new habit. 

And since I have been doing this since March, I have observed that sometimes, I’ve fallen off for days at a time.  First, I am mindful not to beat myself up about this, because that just leads to negative energy.  Second, I usually notice that I feel “off” for some reason, and when I start to think about why, I realize, “oh I am not doing XYZ!  I was feeling so good when I was doing that every night.  Let me get back on track”  As far as habits go, I think the best example of this is exercise or eating healthy, you notice when you stop that you feel differently!  

So, when I’ve noticed I have fallen off the wagon, I simply set an intention to get back into it.

What helps me is to schedule an appointment with myself on my calendar (setting an actual appointment on your calendar is the best way to do this, time block yourself and commit to your appointments like you would with anyone else!)  This is a great trick for helping you to create any new habit, because it’s easy to forget what we set out to do or the day gets away from us.  I also like to have an accountability partner when trying to commit to something new. 

I work with a lot of my clients on what type of accountability works best for them.  For myself, I will often “sign up” for a challenge with a friend so we can do it together.  For this challenge, I actually put it out on social media and committed to showing up every day.  Here, I had to keep myself accountable but it worked because I didn’t want anyone to call me out if I didn’t post one day and I didn’t want to let myself down by taking the easy way out on the days I just didn’t feel like doing it (because that happens to all of us!)

So, for 21 days, I shared my gratitude for whatever I was feeling in the moment.  I really enjoyed it and it was nice to hear some people who were following me express that they enjoyed it too.  

The interesting thing I have noticed since I started to take time to reflect and look for things I am grateful for, is that I actually have begun to have moments of appreciation throughout my day.  I will pause, and observe something, feel my heart swell and have a moment of appreciation IN THE MOMENT.  I love these moments, because as someone who has lived a life on auto-pilot (which I feel like is so true for so many of us!), I realize that I am able to be present, and to truly not let moments pass me by and it helps my energy level stay positive, and I am ultimately happier and appreciative. 

I have also used ‘gratitude on demand”, and in stressful situations, I look for what I am grateful for in that moment and it can help to shift my energy and perspective.

In coaching, it is all about raising your awareness, so that you are able to CHOOSE how you respond vs. react, CHOOSE what you decide to give your energy to or not, CHOOSE what you want to focus on (positive or negative) … we have a choice in all we do.  We can choose to look for gratitude, to look for what’s good in our life, instead of focusing on the negative or what is going wrong.  The new habit of looking for things in my life to be grateful for has truly helped me be more aware and choose what I want to focus on.

The challenge was a good experiment for me, I enjoyed it and learned some things along the way. 

My clients and I use the word experiment a lot in our coaching.  Life is an experiment, it is always good to try something new or to try a new approach to handling a situation or problem.  This helps a lot as we navigate through life, it helps us to take the pressure off (there is no need to strive for perfection because we are trying something out), and it helps us to be flexible and not tied to an outcome (the idea that you can learn from whatever you choose to do, change your mind, and see what sticks is always a great approach to any new endeavor).  

If you are looking to create a gratitude practice and have any questions, please reach out!  And if you are looking to create some new habits, to shift your perspective, want to feel more joy in your life, or work through something you are struggling with, I would love to chat with you.  Click on this link to set up a FREE discovery call. 

Coaching helps you stick with your goals and provides an accountability partner to support you in achieving them!  

I would love to leave you with some of my favorite gratitude quotes ….

  1. Gratitude turns what we have into enough 
  2. Without gratitude and appreciation for what you have, you will never know true fulfillment
  3. When you are grateful, fears disappear and abundance appears
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?
(The Clash)

If I go there will be trouble.
An’ if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
This indecision’s bugging me 

All week (I know it is only Tuesday by the way), I have been thinking about what to write about. I find that I can’t actually write about something unless I really feel it in my bones. So far this week, no luck – lots of false starts, but it just felt like words on paper….

But then, Inspiration struck. Hard. I was interviewed for a podcast called Life After Corporate (Perfect name, right?) and the episode is called ….Should I stay or Should I Go? I  mean does one have to be hit over the head to find a good topic to write about or what? 

In true transparency, I was afraid to listen to the podcast.

What if I sounded ridiculous or embarrassed myself about something/anything I talked about? Oh, that pesky Gremlin seriously needs to take a break (see last email for more details on the Gremlin). So, despite the trauma I was sure I was going to feel once I listened to myself, I sat and listened to the podcast. And, you know what? I sounded like me. Straight up honest and direct. Deb Boulanger is a masterful interviewer. She also had left her corporate gig and is doing amazing things for so many women. Thank you for doing what you do, Deb.

It would be impossible and incalculable for me to tell you how many times I thought about leaving my job. Side note, I did leave my former company several times but this company just got into my soul. It is a very special place with very special people. But it was no longer serving me (such a coachy term)
I have written exhaustively about my inability to dial my work habits back.  But this time, my body was giving me huge signals that is was time to go. And, I finally listened.

This is true for many of us – there are conversations you have inside your head that are on constant loop – should I stay or go in this relationship, should I stay or go with this job, and on and on. We all do it. Every.Single.One.Of.Us. What you may not realize at the time is how much energy this takes out of you when you are so caught up in an infinite loop of indecision. If you believe in the premise that there are no mistakes in life, what would you do if you knew that nothing bad was going to happen to you? What steps would you take to create the life you really want? What is in you that needs to be resolved in order for you to believe in yourself enough to put this conversation to bed.

I am living proof that coaching works. I want you to stop living in your head and start living your best life.

Book a complimentary coaching call with me today. (seriously what are you waiting for)?

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3 Surefire Ways to Arrive at Your Dream Career

Remember the days of heading out on vacation with the large road atlas spread across the dashboard? There was no other way to arrive at your destination. You were lost unless it was a path you had memorized in your head. So how can you expect to arrive at your dream career without a plan as well?

My dad would spend time before our trips reviewing the map and handwriting out directions on a piece of paper. Then he would refer to them often throughout the trip. Depending on time, sometimes we would take the fast route. Other times, we opted for the scenic route. Either way, without those directions, we were lost.

So why do you take something so important and impactful as your career and not do the same thing? Expecting to arrive at your “final destination” without a plan doesn’t sound like a logical plan to me. Much like planning out a vacation, we need to plan out our life roadmap. And a key part of our life is our career. The following three steps are the ones I guide my clients through during the motivation phase of my Design Your Dream Career program.

Step 1 – Explore the Possibilities

The first step is to let your imagination go. Explore all the possibilities available to you. Get past conventional wisdom.

Before writing your possibilities down, take some time to get your mind clear. Visualize the future self you want to see.

Next, create four lists or a mind map with four areas: three months, one year, three years, and your lifetime. Set a timer for five minutes and write down all you want to accomplish regarding your career. Think of this as your wish list for your ideal career path.

Don’t get caught up being realistic or feeling like you have to justify what you are desiring. Write it all down. Ask yourself, if I can be anything, do anything or have anything, what would it be? Studies will tell you that if you write down your dreams, your odds increase by 42% of them actually happening.

Embrace and enjoy this step. How do you want to feel and who do you want to be when you arrive at your dream career? All the obstacles are out of the way. Dream of a future of limitless possibilities.

Step 2 – Prioritize the Key Steps

Now that you are feeling energized and excited for your future, your next step is to establish a plan to arrive at your dream career. This step involves going back to your first step and reviewing all the items you wrote under each area.

Set a timer for one minute. Choose one item in each area that would have the most positive impact on your dream career. Circle those four items in each area. These are your goals. When you are done, you should have one goal you want to accomplish in the next three months. One in the next year, one three years from now, and one that is a lifetime goal.

The lifetime goal might be around an age you want to retire. It might also be  around a monetary level you need to reach to feel comfortable even thinking about retirement. If you are over 40 and have yet to plan out (or dream about) when you want to retire, you are not setting yourself up for success.

Step 3 – Details, Details, Details…

Step three involves getting detailed around each of the goals you have established for yourself in step two. Much like you did in step one, create a mind map, or list, for each goal. List all the items you feel it would take to achieve this goal.

The more detailed you can be here the better. Add specific due dates for each task. Indicate how much, how many, or by when if applicable. Number  the tasks in the order they must be completed, if applicable. And then write these due dates in your calendar. Accountability is key. A weekly check-in is ideal allowing you to adjust accordingly.

Don’t forget to think about what you might need to stay motivated to accomplish this goal. Are there sub-tasks that you can check off along the way to complete the goal? Likely so. Creating sub-tasks allows you to feel a sense of accomplishment and motivation to keep going!

READY?

You’ve mastered the process of identifying your goals, now what do you do? We are down to the last seven weeks of 2020. A new year is right around the corner and many of you are likely starting to craft some lofty goals for 2021. Are you looking to grow your current career? Do you want to explore what else is out there? Are you open to new opportunities but not sure how to get started?

Having a coach, or accountability partner, is key at this stage of the game. If you don’t have someone ensuring you are making headway and accomplishing what you said you wanted to, you will likely stall a bit. Weekly check-ins help hold you accountable. They allow for time to reflect on what worked and what didn’t work. Two minds are way better than one.

So, where do you want to be in six months? What do you want to create in 2021? Reach out and schedule a call. I would love to connect and share more with you about my Design Your Dream Career program. It is for anyone who wants more in their career. Let’s create your roadmap and plan how you will get there. By doing so, you will automatically set yourself up for success!

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I used to take it personally!

I used to take it personally if a guy didn’t immediately text me back, 

Or if it seemed like someone didn’t want to be my friend,

Or if colleagues went out without me.

I created a “they must not be interested in me” story in my head. 

Sound familiar? 

You might have felt: frustrated, disappointed, or insecure. You might have given up on a potential relationship or friendship. Which is perfectly understandable, you’re human. 

But what’s the cost of this interpretation? 

How might this story hold you back? 

Interpretations are usually created in the moment and can also come from the past. An interpretation is your opinion or a story you’ve created regarding a situation or circumstance. 

The key is to remember that there may be other ways to look at it. 

So if something like this were to happen to you: Pause and breathe. 

Ask yourself:

-What’s another way I can look at this? 

-What else might be going on? 

-What might my best friend say about this? 

So when you realize there might be an entirely different view of this, you automatically lessen the interpretation and raise your vibration! 

You got this. This is your journey and this might be challenging to do on your own. 

Are you struggling with trusting yourself or others, unsure if you should dust yourself off and try again in your relationship? 

Do you fear rejection? 

Want to learn my answer to fear of rejection that has allowed me to approach all of my relationships (platonic and romantic) more confidently? 

Consider reaching out to me and scheduling a 45 min complimentary call. 

I have something for you.

It’s free and you have nothing to lose. 

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Taking Back Your Rebirth | Claiming your 2021 with Power and Intention

Today, along with the rest of this year, goes down in history as one of the most important days in US politics.


What about in the history of You?


Did you know that even countries can have astrology? Yep! Anything with a birthday can be looked at through the wisdom of the stars. According to the planets, our country is going through a complete and total rebirth.

Astrology, just like many other tools, is not meant to decide our futures, but instead give us context for the Truth that is unfolding. With such analytical, sharp brains we sometimes need reminding that everything is happening as it should, right on time. This is one of the Truest mindsets we can have.


Why is it so True? Capital-T True?

Because there simply is no reality that is occurring outside of right here, right now. What is here is what is, so it could never not be perfect.

You too, are never not perfect. Where you are today is as divinely designed as the sunrise and sunset. You are as natural and miraculous as photosynthesis or gravity. The difference between you and the flower turning towards the sun or the cow grazing in the fields is that you are aware of yourself–you are consciousness.

With what grace and wonder can you look at yourself the same way you do the sunset?

What if all of the happenings this year were as divinely designed as the seasons, with wisdom far beyond any politician, activist or leader?

This year I moved back to Northern California, and have been spending time with Redwood trees. Did you know that Sierra Redwoods are between 800-1,500 years old? My hikes with them leave me feeling small, naive, child-like and safe. If these trees could talk, they would share stories far beyond this year of social uprising, fires and pandemics. They would tell me of their solid roots, the realities they have lived through and the millions of storms that have come and passed.

As we close this year and open a new one, what do you need to Trust in yourself as the Redwoods do? How deeply in your roots can you sit as we embark on new chapters in 2021?

Now is a fantastic time to look ahead, despite the unknown. It is a chance to assert with complete and total conviction what you want to see in your world next year. And remember, when we keep the focus on ourselves we are infinitely resourced in our self-esteem, not other-esteem.

In this final 2020 season, as we walk intentionally through to our next chapters, ground into your roots and look in the direction you want to go.

Here are some writing prompts to remember your own divine Redwood roots:


1. Creation & Intention:

Start your intentions early. Big goals and big dreams can be uncomfortable to assert at first. Try them on for size now, and practice believing they are true. Without delay, they will appear in your life.

– What will be true by May 1st, 2021?
– What is already unfolding for you that is going to gain momentum?
– What is beyond your imagination of possible in your life? What can you do to make room for it to arrive?

2. Retrospect & Gratitude:

Look back at this time last year and notice who you are now.
– What does your world look like today?
– What did you experience this year?
– What have you accomplished?
– What is it about you that made it possible?

3. Power & Purpose:

To step into our power we have to be willing to be honest about our strengths. We have to be willing to be the one holding the keys. Sit down, feel deep into your roots (tailbone, sits bones, uterus, hips), and answer these honesty:
– What are you capable of that you never thought was possible?
– What have you learned to see differently this year?
– What patterns have you chosen to release?
– Where did you kick @$$ and take names this year?
– What are you more awake to in your life?
– Where are the winds, stars and oceans taking you? Are you listening?

Today is the first day

Of the rest of my life

I wake as a child

To see the world begin

On monarch queens

And birthday wonderings

Want to put on faces

Walk in the wet and cold

And look forward to my growing old

To grow old is to change

To change is to be new



Remember to never, ever give your power away. It’s all there within you. Trust yourself. You’re right where you’re supposed to be.

Want to make it happen? Sign up with Kelsey for the Fall 2021 Transformation Program

2021 Rebirth: Intention, Power and Action

Join Kelsey for a personalized Transformation Package to create the 2021 that’s waiting for you.

*Sign up before Thanksgiving 2020*

  • (12) Bi-Weekly Sessions (2 x Month)
  • + (1) Free (45-minute) Discovery Call 
  • + (1) Free (1-hour) closing session

*Cross the finish line by May 2021!*

$221/Month x 6 months

Want to add on an ELI?
+ (1) ELI Exam + 2-Hour Debrief (+$100)


Ready to Transform by May 2021?
Sign up here!

With love and light, 

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Rebuild To CONQUER

What are you willing to try in order to have the life of your dreams? What are you willing to try in order to find the love of your life, or get your dream job, or have better relationships, or more money, or to finally have self-confidence? Do you feel like you have tried everything…are you stuck?

I felt stuck too.

I began my journey many years ago, as a single woman trying to navigate the dating world. My inner-work moved to my confidence around my career, then family, then friendships. And when I hit a wall with my inner-work and didn’t know where to go next, that’s when I hired a coach. This is when things moved into over-drive. And in becoming a coach myself, I am an expert at navigating my emotions and supporting others through their own personal changes and shifts.

Along the way, I failed so many times. There have been family and friend casualties as I re-evaluated and set new values and boundaries. Some people in my life simply were not ready to accept the new me and now I know that’s okay. Also, I have welcomed new friends and with my new husband, added family too.

But what people always skip over is how I got here.

Transformation is hard. I had so many starts and stops. I never thought I was smart enough to stick to anything or to learn anything new. I never thought I deserved love. I never thought I could stand up for myself or others. I always just accepted what I got because I thought it was all I could get. It wasn’t until I finally stopped believing every thought I had when I really began to feel a shift. I realized that my thoughts were deceiving me. My thoughts were telling me that I wasn’t good enough. Where did that come from? And why? And why was I just accepting it? I realized that I can think any thought I want about myself. I can believe and interpret whatever I want for my life.

Changing my habits has taken major effort, a ton of energy, and commitment.

They include sleepless nights and nights where I feel more restful than I ever have before. There have been times where I resent becoming self-aware and moments where I am so grateful that I am moved to tears.

I disrupted my entire thought process, re-evaluated every relationship, set new values and boundaries for myself, and overall, built a completely new habit around my thoughts. Ultimately, this process has given me confidence, love, self-assurance, resilience. Also included are fear, restlessness, doubt, and anxiety. But thanks to my practices, I know how to handle all the stuff that raises my blood pressure.

I am happy AND I am okay when I get it wrong. One major thing I’ve learned is how to get back up when I fall. And I fall often. Building new habits and new thoughts is work.

I created the Re-Build to Re-Conquer program based on my personal journey. Teaching what I know with the addition of my coaching skills is why this program works. I have been through it, and because I have come out the other side feeling joy and fulfillment, I know you can too. What are you willing to try?

This is the work. Having a growth mindset. Being willing to change. Being willing to go deep into your emotions and find the core thoughts that aren’t serving you, and decide how to choose better next time. This is not about regret for your past or wishing that you had learned these lessons earlier – this is about being proud of getting to this point in your life. Being proud of the journey that you are about to embark upon. Knowing that every single day is a chance to begin your new life.

I know what it feels like to think that that you are not good enough and I know what it feels like to feel the opposite – to truly believe that you are worthy. You can choose worthy, even when it feels like an uphill battle.

Are you willing to try?

Want to know more about the Re-Build and Re-Conquer program? Schedule a FREE Discovery Call or Learn more about the Program HERE

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A Reflection On Endings

As I sit down to write, I have been thinking of what it means to experience “endings”; things ending, coming to a close, and the period of transitioning to what’s next.  I am thinking about my own experience with endings recently, and noticing the emotions that have been coming up as I navigate through some transitional times.

I just ended my 6 week workshop through HCC, and noticed on the last day, as I signed off, this feeling of emptiness as I thought to myself, “ok, what do I do now?”  The workshop was so fun and fulfilling and yet it consumed my focus and energy for the entire 6 weeks.  I am noticing that I am conditioned to always have my mind focused and always going going going.  To be focused on being “productive” and “busy”, having my worth tied to this idea of “doing”.  I am trying to embrace this space and allow for creativity, for inner guidance and knowing of what to do next versus forcing it. For me, this slowing down, feeling less “productive”, feels uncomfortable.  

Seasons changing also has made me think about endings. 

The warm weather is starting to turn here in NY, and we have been blessed to have spent an amazingly beautiful summer and early fall outdoors.  We have taken full advantage of being able to be socially distanced, outdoors, and see friends.  But that is already starting to change as it gets colder out, and I feel sad to think we now need to go indoors for the next few months which will ultimately result in limited social interactions with friends and family as a result of the pandemic.

While endings always come with new beginnings, I think with all of this happening at once, I am really sitting in the feelings of the shift.  

I am noticing sadness, a loss in identity, some confusion, and ultimately discomfort as I am being forced to change gears, some which I am not so ready to shift.

Part of the process of working through any ending is acknowledging something as an ending, and the shift /disengage from the activities and relationships.  We often are so quick to move to the next thing, to fill our time, and be busy.  For me it’s noticing that I am really uncomfortable to sit in the transition.  I’m working to embrace the stillness, the feelings, the reflections, the discomfort, as I trust it serves a purpose.

Another ending mg mind goes to is my daughter recently graduating elementary school this past June.  And how with every ending comes a beginning, and in September she started Middle School and it has been such a great experience so far.  She has matured a lot over the past couple of months and like anything in life, she is adjusting, navigating, growing and evolving!

Endings can be big or small, they can be relationships, jobs, chapters in our life; some endings we choose and some we don’t, but regardless, they come with their fair share of feelings and thoughts. 

Endings allow us to explore new possibilities, make peace with change, and begin moving forward.  So as I look at my life, my business, the seasons, and whatever is next to end, I am open to observing how I feel, how I want to pause and acknowledge the feelings and what they represent and can teach me, and with new, wiser eyes, look forward with excitement of what’s next. 

Curious about anything you’ve read or want to explore your thoughts, feelings, and how they may be impacting how you show up, schedule a FREE discovery call with me, Kristine by clicking on this link HERE. I would love to dive deeper with you!

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Design Your DREAM Career – A FREE Exercise

What Makes You Unique?

How many interviews have you been a part of that start with the tell us a little bit about yourself question? I wish instead they would start with what makes you unique.

After all, that is what they are going to remember – your superpowers and key differentiators. This is what will give you an edge and stand out from the crowd.

To help you answer this routine question, I invite you to take some time for a little self-discovery. In stage one of my 5 stages to Design Your Dream Career, we look at your mindset. We spend time narrowing down your values, assessing your energy, and digging into your personal brand. Think of your personal brand as how you want people to remember you. What is your legacy? Your legacy is what makes you unique.

To help you gain awareness in your uniqueness, I have five areas for you to simmer and journal on.

List your strengths

Start with some self-awareness here and make a list for yourself. A quick google search will lead you to various pages that share lists to choose from. It is also a good idea to ask your family, friends, or colleagues what strengths they admire most in you. See what words continuously come up. Think back on the projects you worked on. What strengths did you bring to the group or activity? Were you the leader or did you like being part of the group? Did you bring energy to the group and keep everyone involved? Examples of strengths include honesty, flexibility, determination, persistence, creativity, discipline, dedication, versatility, patience, and respectfulness.

Now add in your skills

Do you have certain skills you like using more than others? Are any of these a unique skillset? What about combining various skills together? For example, I was a graphic design and I had a marketing background. I also enjoyed writing. Those skills separately were attractive but combining them made me even more valuable. Having emotional intelligence is very critical these days for many employers. Are you able to recognize and manage your emotions and the emotions of others? Examples of skills would include communication (written and verbal), management and leadership, organizational, active listening, technical competency, critical thinking and problem solving, teamwork and collaboration, and professionalism.

Make a list of your interests

Are there topics you enjoy talking or reading about? What area do you want to shine a light on? Maybe you enjoy writing on a certain topic. Sift through your social feeds and note where you feel pulled to stop and either read or watch what has been shared. It is around health or personal development? To help you think deeper here, consider noting your interests in the eight different areas of life. Those are family, fun & enjoyment, spirituality, finances, health, personal development, career, and relationships.

Write your story

I had a coach one-time hand me a piece of graph paper and told me to write down a timeline of my life. Sounded simple until I started it. I found myself wanting to dig into things I had forgotten even more. I was calling my parents asking them about important dates and life events. Once I could see the big picture of my life, so many pieces of the puzzle made sense. Try this and don’t forget to add in your career. Once you have done that look back and see if there are any big themes that come up? Where did you excel and why did it perhaps stop?

What is your expertise

Make a list of the roles and projects you have worked on. What stands out of the ordinary? If there was a particular area, what made you so good? Are you learning anything new? Have you spent time qualifying for a certain profession? Are you investing in on-line learning to further develop your skill set? Remember here to think of yourself outside or work as well. Did you plan a large family reunion? It may not be work related, but I would guess you had to be very detailed, sensitive to various age groups in attendance, and responsible when handling the finances. All those traits and qualities are ones you possess at work and in life.

When you represent what makes you unique – your experiences, your insights, your story – you draw an audience for your unique voice. Once you begin to connect these aspects, you define what sets you apart. Remember, no one has lived your life or had the career you have. Own your superpowers.

If you read this and want to know more, or would like assistance in narrowing down your superpowers, let’s hop on a call and chat. I would love to share with you more about my 5 stages to Design Your Dream Career program. (Use code SAVE400 to get $400 off your package!) It is never too late to begin again.

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Why I’m happy that relationship did not last

“Change is the only constant” 

What comes to mind when you read the above foundation principle?

When my last relationship ended I took it very personally. 

I thought: “Why me? Oh well, I guess I have to move on.”  

I felt rejected. I felt anxious. I didn’t feel good enough.  

At the time, I was very resistant to change because of fear. 

Fear of the unknown. 

Angry at my ex for giving up on the relationship.

This resulted in me ruminating on the couch, watching Netflix, and drinking numerous bottles of wine. 

But then I got my butt off the couch, went back into the gym, and hired a coach who helped me see the power in moving forward by releasing my anger, fear, loss, and resentment. 

You see, resistance to change mostly comes from perspective. 

And I was seeing my ex’s actions as a reflection of ME. 

But in reality, his actions were simply actions based on HIM stemming from his own history, his own beliefs, etc. 

“Change your thoughts and you change your world” 

I was now able to see aspects of that relationship a lot differently. 

So here is what I learned and why I’m happy that relationship didn’t last:

  • You learn to think before you act: Miscommunication can be a huge cause of break up. Learn to listen, acknowledge,  and respond with kindness.
  • Both people must choose each other: If the other person stopped choosing you, it won’t work. Their loss, your gain! 
  • You learn to accept people for who they are: All experiences have value. 
  • Now you get to date other people: 2020 isn’t over! Now you get to meet new people who can’t wait to love you back! 
  • You learn to love and appreciate yourself: There is power in learning to love and take care of yourself now! You’re worthy and no one can take that away from you. 

Now is the perfect time to start embracing and celebrating your greatness today by booking a complimentary Discovery Session with me.

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The Freedom of Facing Change


The rapid rate of change of this year has been a constant reminder that I am only ever experiencing my own personal reality. 

Not my family’s reality 
Not my partner’s reality
Not my neighbor’s reality
Not my client’ reality

Mine and mine only. 

These ideas that I am having are my thoughts, my emotions, my interpretations. It is the story I am telling myself. 

Well sheesh! If I’m the author, why do I constantly pretend like I’m not writing the narrative?

When we realize this, it becomes abundantly clear that when we focus on someone else’s reality, our own energy shifts into a powerless, out of control, “icky” mode.

For me, I literally begin to feel “sticky.” Because it is sticky. I’m stuck! I am no longer free.

I’m stuck because I’ve given away my power to something or someone outside of myself. The True self always knows the way. When I ignore Her, deny Her, doubt Her she senses it and starts to feel out of alignment. She feels STUCK.

The number one rule in liberation–of living a life of freedom is to keep the focus on ourselves. Always. The True self is never not here. Boy is this rule a tall order in this year of 2020!

But he said this!

She did that.

I can’t believe what they just said!

Whatever it is that others are choosing to do, feel, say, or bring into this world to make manifest is about them. It’s their story. It is not about me. Can I remember that? 

Lately, my sanity depends on it. I have no choice in a world of uncertainty and change to remember the only power I actually ever had all along was the power within me.

Because I have to keep the focus on myself, I’m forced to remember that anything that needs to change can and will begin with change within me first. I know that when I am looking outside of myself for change I am not being honest with the reality of what needs to be seen within. This is my divine assignment.

When we have the courage to honestly address what needs to change within ourselves, we are fully in our power once again. 

How do you behave when you think the story is outside of yourself? 
When are you giving your power away? 
Where in your life do you have the opportunity to take your power back? 
What would change if you did?

Living life from the inside out is ready and waiting for you right at home with your True self.

Schedule A Discovery Call with me HERE