Author: Hensel Coaching

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5 Ways Hiring a Career Coach Will Impact Your Life

Confession – the definition I had of a career coach a few years ago is very different than the one I have now.

When I was hiring a career coach, I was completely resume focused. I needed someone to help me update my resume because that was for sure the reason, I was not getting any interviews.

It feels kind of funny even to write that now. But you know what? We all live and learn. I could have chosen to beat myself up for not knowing what to expect when hiring a career coach back when I was looking for one. I thought for sure the main reason I was not getting any interviews was because of my resume. It wasn’t grabbing anyone’s attention just yet. If someone professional could tweak it, I just knew it would help.

What a fun story I was telling myself back then. But that story, combined with my coaching certifications, has led me to a whole new realization around how hiring a career coach will impact your life. I have chosen not to beat myself up for that former thought; instead, I will use it as a learning lesson. And tip one stems right from that point.

1 – BIG PICTURE THINKING

As your career coach, my vision is everything from the next logical step to where you want to be five-ten years from now. We even discuss your ideal retirement age! Yes, you need your resume updated but let’s dig into all of your ideal work components.

Much like I did when I hired my first career coach, I was caught up in the current timeframe. I needed a job. I was scared that my unemployment gap would not be a great thing to showcase on my resume. What I wasn’t considering, however, was my bigger picture. I was taking everything with me straight to the next job. I interviewed with the negative, victimized energy of someone who had just lost a job they love and did well. They felt that.

Once I could hit pause and work with a coach to better understand my mindset and where I was coming from, my energy changed. I was more confident, and the excitement shined through to land my dream role. A career coach is going to help you adjust the lens that you typically look through.

When you do that, you start to see a different picture. One that is larger than the immediate need. A vision of how you want to feel in your next job. Is being rewarded and recognized important to you? If so, we better find ways to land you a job that either does this or knows how you measure success.

2 – ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

A teacher shares information with you. Mentors share experiences. Coaches ask open-ended questions. The agenda is not about them. In fact, the best coaches have nothing to do with the conversation from a personal perspective. Instead, they focus 100% on you. They are your accountability partner to set you up to solve your problem or achieve your goal successfully.

After my clients and I are done with our session, I follow up with an email outlining what we all discussed, their to-dos before our next meeting. If they don’t do them, that tells me something, and we can dig into that. I don’t give them a free pass and say no biggie. They hired me to keep them accountable and on track. We are doing something far greater than they can do or would do on their own.

For me personally, I know that when I have someone who is pulling me forward and challenging me to stay focused on what I said was important to me, I will thrive way more. That is what a coach does for me. And I know I am way further along because of it.

3 – EXPERIENCED EXPERTISE

Companies are not only interviewing you, but you are also interviewing them. Walking into an interview with a bag full of examples and being able to share and articulate what you are looking for is a win-win for both parties.

I can speak to this one from experience. When I lost my first job, I interviewed for over a year before landing my job. And several of those interviews, I made it past the second and third interviews.

Being a career change coach and having been through where my clients will be going, is vital. I’ve been there. And we all know what we learn when we are helping someone else through an experience, we have been through ourselves. Some days I think I should write a book around all the lessons I learned in those interviewing months. Ask me about taking an ice pack in my pocket once to an interview…

4 – BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE

I received my coaching certification through the reputable program iPEC. This certification required me to have almost 150 hours of training. Personally, it took me about a year. And the one thing that I can say it gave me the most was a huge boost in self-awareness, which lead to great self-confidence.

I can’t help someone else build up their confidence if mine is gone. I could try, but it just wouldn’t be as effective. Coaches help you see the areas you are missing. They give you insights that you may not want to hear but need to hear. And all of this builds on your personal awareness, which can only boost your self-confidence.

In my Design Your Dream Career program, we start with the mindset. Many professional women come to me, defeated and exhausted. They are miserable in their job, and yet they think finding a new job is the answer. And yet, you take those same behaviors and thoughts with you to the next job, and they never get resolved.

Showing up focused and ready for a new role requires us to pause and work on ourselves a bit first. Then we can dig into where we want to go with a clear mind and a knowing of who we are down to our core. And I guarantee this stage will impact your life in all areas.

5 – INSTILLS MOTIVATION

Feeling motivation and maintaining motivation can be tough on your own. For many of us, distractions can happen easily and often. That isn’t a helpful place for someone who needs to be spending time searching for a job, updating a resume, and connecting with new leads.

Maintaining a focus and building up your energy to keep a full tank of gas is vital. It also ensures you avoid pitfalls and disappointment. Because there will be some, you will find the dream job and hear nothing back. And it will completely defeat you and set you back. Speaking from experience here… But the key is how fast you can rebound in that space and re-focus.

Going through that process solo will likely take way more time than if you have a coach who can call to help get you back up and moving forward. Speaking again from experience there… family and spouses are helpful in these situations. Still, nothing beats a third party that is not connected to you personally and instead is there 100% for you to achieve your goal. That is their one and main focus.

If you are looking to find your dream job and have no clue how to get started, let’s connect. There is no reason to feel alone and overwhelmed. Hiring a career coach will impact your life. I know because it did for me. And remember, we can always begin again. No matter our age.

Book A Free Discovery Call
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From Self Abandonment to Honoring Yourself in 4 Steps

In my last relationship, I found myself holding onto a glimmer of hope. Hoping his behavior would change, hoping he would finally meet my needs. I was waiting and waiting for him to “wake up”…

Spoiler alert: nothing changed. 

And when I finally had the courage to move forward, I was angry. 

Angry because I felt like I wasted so much time. Disappointed because I feared I would never meet the right person for me. Frustrated that I had entertained the bad behavior for far too long. 

I thought: “this must be it.” But it wasn’t. 

Acknowledge your true desires: Clarify exactly what you want and need. Think about it, picture it, and imagine how you will feel when you’re in your ideal situation. Why do you want this? Commit to this.

Stay aware: You absolutely have the power of conscious choice. What’s the cost of choosing to continue doing whatever you’re doing? You can try something new today. Stay open to this. 

Believe you are capable: Believe you are deserving of what you truly desire. This is a tough one for some of my clients. This was also tough for me in the beginning. Baby steps. Tell the universe what you deserve. The universe will listen and provide. Be this. 

Acceptance: Embrace where you are. You are doing the best you can. It is a matter of when not if. 

We are all a work in progress and I know this process works because I am living proof. 

Consider scheduling a 45 min discovery call right now.

No more “waiting until.” 

Your time starts now. 

It’s free and you have nothing to lose. 

Are you ready? 

Book A Discovery Call
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What To Do When Gratitude is *Sold Out*?

I have been experiencing a feeling lately that is pretty darn hard to shake. It’s the one where Gratitude is Sold Out. 

You know when you go to a store looking for something specific, knowing exactly what aisle it lives on, ready to quickly grab it and go? You’ve already bought it in your mind. You’re practically pulling out your wallet as you approach the product. This time, when you show up, it isn’t there. 

You ask the clerk, “Hi there! Is there any more of this?” 

“Sorry, we’re sold out.”

That’s it; full stop. Maybe I can check another store, maybe I can order it online, but as far as it goes here in this store, I am walking out empty handed. We simply move on. 

In certain situations in our lives, sometimes Gratitude is simply *Sold Out*. Our internal clerk says, “Sorry, no more. Can’t help you. Move along.”  When all has gone to sh*t, and there’s seemingly even more on the way, it’s simply unthinkable to pick up some good’ol Gratitude. 

This, just like every other energy in our life, is an energy. It is there for a reason, serves a purpose and can be transformed. So how do we respond when Gratitude is Sold Out?

One way is to play the catastrophe game. The absolute bottom-out, unbearably indulgent, utterly ridiculous pity party fiesta. 

Why? Because the inability to see or feel gratitude stems from a frame of mind, not from our objective experience. If we’re missing out on gratitude, we’re probably missing out on a lot more. Something is holding us back. So if something needs to be felt, heard, or expressed–let’s address it. Lack of gratitude can be a passive-aggressive sign from our deeper selves that something is off, going unaddressed or needs to be expressed. 

The voice that nags–that is judging our experience, saying that what we have isn’t enough, should be different or better, or doesn’t matter, is clearly unhappy with something. Instead of calling it ungrateful, annoying or selfish, what happens when you give it some real air time and stay present with what it has to say? 

See just how badly the pity party can get. What is fun about this is the freedom to indulge in the story. The “he-said-she-said,” “that’s not fair” and “why me”-s are free to run wild. Let it all hang out. Stay present for all of it. Listen intently and compassionately to yourself and validate your own experience. You can even try calling a friend and giving the disclaimer, “I need to get this out and be witnessed in my anger, sadness and despair. Can you hold this space for me?” Know that you can write this entire sob story, make it the next best drama-filled reality TV show on Netflix and still re-read it and choose a different life without ever having to act it out in your life. This is conscious living. 

Allowing all parts of ourselves to own their respective stories allows us to take a step back from our feelings of anger, sadness and worry and choose what we want to take with us. Allow yourself to be human, to feel and express it all and also to evaluate before choosing. Is this really how I feel? How do I want to feel? What is actually going right here?

Sometimes we need to dip into the sob story to understand our power to change it. The difference is that we are doing it consciously. This is how we move ourselves out of victimhood and into agency. So try on a new story and see how it feels, even if it means finally having the pity party you haven’t allowed yourself to have. Gratitude will surely come back into stock. 


This is a great video that can help remind us of the daily gifts we are missing out on, but don’t reject yourself when Gratitude is sold out. We all run out sometimes. Trust yourself.

Book A Discovery Call



With love and light, 


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IMPORTANT: You Are Not Alone

Don’t forget to check in on your strong friend….

This quote came up in a conversation with some coach friends recently.  We were saying how things lately have felt unusually hard, a little depressing, and like we could not shake the feeling.  I really related to this as I too have had my moments.  

Coincidentally, later that day, I saw someone share an article from Huffington Post Women on Instagram titled “It is not you.  A lot of us are hitting a pandemic wall.”   And I noticed the connection, it made a lot of sense, the feeling of burn out, managing expectations, continuing to live through restrictions, fear, and uncertainty for “a little bit longer.”   

I shared the article on my social media, which resonated with so many, and one friend replied, “A good winter can be tough.  A pandemic winter can be crippling”… and well, it really hit home!  (I live in NY, so our winters are cold and outdoor life is pretty much not an option, so I’ve felt a bit isolated and honestly, tired of pandemic life).   

As a coach, what I have noticed during this time (and during any conversation that sometimes is a little more emotional and heavier than a traditional coaching conversation focused around goals, intentions, and taking action) is that sometimes it is a matter of simply talking to someone, sharing what is on your heart and your mind, and dare I say venting.  I am usually the person who will preface a complaint with “I am not one to like to complain  ….”  Yet I caught myself saying that recently and thought to myself, “it is ok to give myself a moment, to accept that I am feeling a certain way about something, to pause and understand what I am feeling and why I am feeling that way”  

We are women, moms, daughters, friends, leaders, team members….

We wear so many hats, and often times we stand strong for others.   However, there is only so much we can do for others without acknowledging what we are managing.  So, it is ok to take a moment and release the notion that we “have it all together” or to bypass our feelings and make like they are not taking a toll on us.

I’m embracing the choice to take ownership of how I feel, having compassion for myself, acknowledging that things are hard, and it is ok to pause and take a moment because I am tired, drained, overwhelmed, all of the above.

However, I have a choice, and I know this.  Each day is a new day with the opportunity for a new perspective.  When I find myself “down”, I observe myself, and then I will do something to disrupt the pattern and “shake things up”.  If I continue to sit in my moments, and do nothing differently, that is exactly where I will stay.   Awareness is the most important thing, creating a new choice based on that awareness is where the magic happens.   

Here are some things that help me “shake things up” and make a new choice, set a new mood, and have a new perspective …

  • Breathe – close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, and breathe in and out slowly and deeply
  • Meditate – there are so many guided meditations
  • Journal – just free flow, write what is on your mind, observe and acknowledge your feelings without judgement and think “wow, that is interesting”
  • Go for a walk outside
  • Do something you love and enjoy – bake, dance, play music in your home
  • Laugh!  My favorite thing to do!   
  • Surround yourself with people who make you happy

So check in on your friends, and check in on yourself.  

If you need help or want to talk to someone, reach out.  In speaking to a client just this week about a highly emotional topic she said, “I felt compelled to share this today as it was on my heart.  Thank you for giving me the space to share what was on my mind.  I feel much better and was able to work through my emotions much faster than if we had not spoken through it” and she left the conversation with a new perspective, a new approach, and a whole lot of acceptance and compassion for herself.   If you can relate this is something you would like to work through and explore for yourself, set up a free discovery call with me!   

Let’s Connect
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We Can Always Begin Again (How To Find Your Dream Job)

Dee came to me feeling overwhelmed and demoralized in her current role. In the past year, she had left a great job for what she hoped to be her dream job. But that move left her feeling helpless and without direction.

Now she spent her days searching, for countless hours, trying to find the next “perfect” job. The toxic work environment she was in would likely end soon, and she needed a plan quickly.

On the day we chatted, she said some familiar phrases I hear during discovery calls.

  • I have no energy, and I feel stuck and overwhelmed.
  • I have so many skills, and yet I don’t know what I want to do.

Should I just look for a job that doesn’t pay as much but I am at least happy?

She had come across my name after doing yet another middle of night google search.

She landed on the post of how I reinvented my career at 45. It caught her attention as she, too, was middle-aged. When she read my five steps to design your dream career, she was intrigued. Many of us can relate to Dee. You desire confidence and clarity around Who we are and What lights us up. There is a desire to uncover your superpowers and your gifts.

You are hopeful this new place will bring the energy and power you desire.


From my experience, I can tell you that once you are clear on who you are and what lights you up, the doors start to open for your dream job. Opportunities start appearing because you are looking for them. What seemed lost before and slipped through the cracks is now showing up frequently.

This program is for so many different types of mid-life women. Here are just a few examples that you might be able to relate to.

  • I want to enter a new career field, but I don’t know how to start.
  • I am ready to make a pivot and move my career forward where I currently work and keep getting unnoticed for promotions.
  • My energy and mojo are gone; I need to get it back!
  • I feel like I am starting to head down the wrong path, and I don’t know where else to go and still make this salary.
  • I took some time off work, and now I am ready to get back into the industry and have no clue how to get started.

My 5 Steps to Design Your Dream Career program will prepare you for what’s ahead. All while remaining accountable, focused and unstuck. It consists of thought-provoking coaching sessions, assessments, and various tools to set you up for success.

If you are looking to find your dream job and have no clue how to get started, let’s connect.
There is no reason to feel alone and overwhelmed. We can always begin again.

Let’s Connect

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How do you want to use your past?

Register for The Single Girl’s Kit

As a break-up and dating coach, I often see clients who struggle with seeing clearly “what is” and “what was.” 

It’s common to question what went wrong in a failed relationship or wonder why he never called back or wish you didn’t send that text.

And it’s completely understandable. It’s tough and it may still hurt. You may wish you could go back and change things. 

But believe it or not, the story you tell yourself about your past matters. Are you the hero or victim of the story? 


So starting today, you get to decide what your past means to you. That’s right, you get to decide what you’re bringing into your future. This is what coaching is all about. 

So this week, I challenge you to ask yourself these questions:

  1. What story am I telling myself about my previous relationship?
  2. What lesson am I choosing to take from this relationship?
  3. What am I releasing? 
  4. I did the best I could because…
  5. Who do I want to be starting today?

Share your answers with us LIVE tomorrow, January 27th at 6PM eastern on our new weekly show “Wednesdays with SGK” on YouTube where we share tips on:

  • -Why you must let go of your ex to let in new love
  • -How you can take back your power with online dating
  • -Why dating is still possible for you if you’ve been out of the game 
  • -Our 7 steps to a more self-confident you in 2021 

Enough is enough. 

Stop waiting for the “perfect” time. 

Your time starts now. 

Are you ready? 

Date without the drama and join a community of women who are saying “YES, it’s my turn now.”

The Single Girl’s Kit starts February 10th. 

Learn More About The Single Girl’s Kit
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Commit to Yourself. Commit to Love.

I had many years of feeling like I was missing something. I figured out so much of my life – I had great friendships, a good job with a good salary, satisfactory family relationships, and a great apartment in the heart of Manhattan.

So what happened to my love life?

Nothing ever seemed to work out. He only wanted to hook up, he was rude, he looked nothing like his picture on the dating app, he drank too much, I drank too much, he decided that he didn’t want a girlfriend, he wasn’t chivalrous, etc.

It felt like dating wasn’t supposed to be this hard. I just assumed it would happen to me one day, easily and swiftly, and then all would be good and could have this box checked.

Little did I know – it’s not just a box to be checked, dating doesn’t have to suck, chivalry does still exist, and some men actually do want a serious relationship.

I found this out after I decided to take my love life seriously.

I read books, I told everyone what I was looking for, I decided what I wanted, I worked on my confidence, and I decided to try harder…not at dating…at being myself, at having fun, at viewing dating with ease, at sticking to my boundaries, and at my certainty. I began to believe that love would happen for me, it was just a matter of time.

It wasn’t always easy. But I began to date better. I began to have fun. And then I met my husband.

If you’re single now and feeling worried or anxious, I totally understand. This is exactly why I am a life coach who helps women find love – because I understand confusion and fear around finding love.

I’m launching The Single Girl’s Kit again with my amazing colleague Lena-Marie Gilbert. We solve your dating woes. Let us take the drama out of dating for you.

This group coaching program includes six weeks of lessons, three one-on-one coaching sessions to ensure that you are able to apply the material to your personal life, and the ELI Assessment.

This program is for you if

  • you’re sick of dating drama.
  • you are afraid of dating right now.
  • you’re still talking to your ex or can’t get over him.
  • you don’t have self-confidence in dating.
  • you haven’t dated in a really long time.
  • you don’t know what you want.
  • you don’t know how to have boundaries.
  • you are worried you’ll never meet your dreamy man.

Lena-Marie Gilbert and I teach you how to overcome ALL OF THIS AND SO MUCH MORE. We are building a community of like-minded, supportive women. You don’t just have our support, you have the support of every woman who is in the group and who has ever been through SGK.

You will leave this group feeling like a million bucks – totally knowing what you want, totally confident, totally able to squash the negativity around you, and totally ready to meet your person.

Commit to yourself. Commit to love.

Register for The Single Girl’s Kit
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New Year, New Intentions

Happy New Year! 

I feel extremely lucky that my turn in the rotation to contribute to the Hensel Coaching and Consulting email is the first for 2021!   What a way for me to kick start 2021, and “get off the couch” after an extremely restful and relaxing holiday week off!  

Earlier in December, I attended a “Reflect and Intend” workshop with my own coach through our group program (yes, coaches have coaches!).  We began by reflecting on 2020.  Which was quite powerful.

“The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination. Until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.”

– Iyanla Vanzant

Self-reflection is how we can observe and analyze ourselves in order to grow as a person. 

By understanding who you are now and who you’d like to become, you can identify the steps you need to take on that journey (and set your intentions to help you get there!).  Reflecting upon your own behaviors, noticing patterns, and what thoughts enter your mind in response to events in your world and the world around you allows you to see what you need to work on.  The ability to observe what has happened with love, acceptance, non-judgment, and the desire to learn from your experiences so that you can reflect and begin to make conscious new choices in your future is a beautiful and healing practice.

It is easy for so many of us to look back at 2020 and see just one big dark cloud – all the negative, the hardships and the heartache.  It was a really, really tough year for so many.  But as with anything in life, there were blessings, moments of hope, and things and people to be grateful for – we just may need to dig a little deeper and look a little harder to find them.  In any situation, you can choose what you look at, how you look at it, what you want to focus on, and how you can learn from it.   

I loved taking time to reflect on 2020. 

We often forget how resilient we are, and we sometimes forget all the things we did do and how far we’ve come.  The quote that I have kept thinking of is, “You have survived 100% off your worst days”  If you are reading this, you are here!  You survived 2020.  The good, the bad, and the ugly!  You made it!  And as with anything, each day is a new opportunity to decide how you want to live your life, and how you want to feel.  There is always something to learn from every experience.  Take some time to reflect by asking yourself some questions.  Take time to sit and think about where you felt success, where you didn’t, times where your energy felt depleted or where you felt energized.  What did you learn from 2020? 

The second part of the workshop was about setting intentions.  

An intention is the “mental state representing commitment to perform an action” and will your intentions to the next level is how you feel and what is the energy behind those intentions.  Emotions are energy, and energy is everything!   We need to decide what we want, and believe that we can have it.  As an Energy Master Practitioner who administers the Energy Leadership Assessment (the ELI), the majority of work I do with my clients is around energy.  We focus a lot on how you feel, the energy you are showing up with, identifying limiting beliefs, and creating new beliefs and the feelings we need to feel so that we can achieve our desired results.

Using your reflections from 2020 and knowing where you are coming from will help you gain clarity around where you want to go.  Applying the lessons you learned from 2020 will help you to identify any new results you would like to see for yourself in 2021.  Once you know where you want to focus, aligning your energy behind achieving whatever it is you want is crucial for taking inspired action.   For me,  I am setting intentions on how I want to feel and show up every day and what that looks like.  It starts with a few small new habits that I am implementing in my life.  Small changes will make big results and help you to sustain your energy around doing them and continuing to do them!  

This year, my intention is focused on leading with love (vs fear). 

I know if I can shift to looking at things through a lens rooted in compassion, love, and curiosity I will be able to do so much more (using this lens in those around me, and especially on myself).  Conversely, when I lead with fear, it is ego-based and rooted in judgment, comparison, self-doubt.   Setting this intention and continuing to come back to it will serve me, catching myself when I am not leading with love and choosing to shift will not always be easy. I am ready for the challenge.

I will support this intention by creating some new habits. 

Carving out time and mindfully planning to spend time on these habits will be crucial for my success.  They will include slowing down, connecting with myself and my intention daily, and reflecting on situations and my emotions around things.  I know this practice will be a key area of my growth. 

As with anything, my goal is to consistently create a new habit but I am human.  When I fall off the wagon, I do not beat myself up but am compassionate and get right back on.  When I fall off the wagon too many times, I really do like to spend time reflecting on why, understanding what is really blocking me or holding me back, and that self reflection helps me to re-set intentions and my own expectations.  It is truly a journey!

If you would like to know more about how to reflect and set intentions for the new year, get your own clarity around what you would like to do differently this year, and how you can achieve different results in 2021, please set up a free discovery call.   I would love to help you create a 2021 that feels amazing and for you to achieve the results you want!


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My Top Three Life Lessons

life lessons

Birthdays bring with them a desire to reflect. And since I turned 46 this month, I thought it was an excellent opportunity to share these life lessons with you. I can only pray that I will get another 46 years and the ability to learn more life lessons. However, today I am leaning into these three biggies – change the lens, listen to the whispers, and assume good intent.

1 – Change The Lens:

My brain is a visual one. Reading a book and remembering what I read is tricky for me. It always has been. I learn better through visual means, and if you give me an analogy that sticks, it is a winner winner chicken dinner! 

When I first started life coaching school, I was fresh off the result of a company restructure. I was in the process of continually pulling my hair out, trying to get an interview ANYWHERE! It was beyond frustrating and highly depressing.

I arrived at my life coaching school with an optimistic yet victim-feeling undertone. Losing my job was a hard pill for me to swallow. While I was aware it happened for reasons that had nothing to do with me, I am still human and took it personally.

But that first weekend, when the trainer said changing your energy is as easy as changing your lens; I got it. Clear as day. I was looking through the wrong lens of my career. The lens of being a victim to a downsize was not serving me or giving me any movement. It was leaving me feeling apathetic and just plain exhausted.

Once I changed my glasses and looked through a new lens, opportunities started appearing around me. Our energy is a powerful thing. It is why every one of my clients starts off taking the Get Unstuck assessment. It allows us to see how they are resonating energetically on a typical day and when under stress. 

Nothing gets done when we are sitting in a stressful space. This new information allowed me to see myself as someone who lost my job and was blessed with some time to figure out my next steps instead of a corporate restructure victim. Lucky for me, severance and unemployment were part of my package, and that helped ease the financial strain.

2 – Listen To The Whispers:

How many times have we heard of trusting the process? I know, it’s annoying. Yet, it is also entirely accurate. Pausing and allowing the whispers and more profound learnings to sink in is a huge part of growth. Taking the time and slowing down your mind will enable you to hear things it would have missed if it was in overdrive.

When I lost my job, I kept hearing about life coaching. It was showing up in everyone from co-workers to close friends. I ignored so many of the conversations, yet it wouldn’t leave me. I knew or thought I knew that I needed to keep working in marketing and find a job in that field. But once I let the curiosity sink in and decided to learn more, the stars started to align right in front of me.

I admit I can be a bit stubborn. But life coaching school taught me a different approach, and I can honestly say that lesson has changed how I show up now in all areas of my life. I am open to so many more opportunities. I welcome them, and I look for them. Instead of assuming I can’t do that job or don’t know enough about that career, I change the lens, listen to those who mentor me, and move forward. 

This trait is also a great one that I share with my clients. So many of them show up with horse blinders on. They think since they are this age or don’t have this skill set, they are stuck. Once they turn their curiosity on and start listening to not only our conversations but to the whispers around them, they too adjust.

3 – Assume Good Intent:

I recently had a post on LinkedIn reach over 156,000 views. It was about connecting with those that you don’t know. Lending a helping hand to someone else and being a helping hand in return.

For the most part, I heard only positive feedback. But one comment I received kind of set me back. It was something that I think I would have perhaps said years ago, but now that I have changed the lens, I can see it differently. 

We all get tired of the constant salespeople. The ones that are always trying to get us to sign up for their program and buy their product. I, too, receive those messages and calls every day. I can honestly say now I read some of their sales pitches. What if they have something that might be interesting or beneficial to either me down the road? What if they have a job opportunity to share with my connections that might lead them to a new dream job? 

I am assuming good intent for the most part, and it has eased my stress. I give people the benefit of the doubt and believe they want to help me or someone I know. Their services might not be of interest to me now, but you never know down the road. 

This approach is energizing vs. annoying. And that, in turn, creates opportunities. Those opportunities can lead to connections and positions that never would have presented themselves to me if I would have been wearing the horse blinders.

I encourage you all to pause and reflect on your big three life lessons. What would you say or share with others? These past 46 years have taught me big life lessons. Sometimes I can’t fathom that there is still more to learn. And then something or someone new comes along, and boom, another great lesson.

If you are looking to find your dream career and have no clue how to get started, let’s connect. There is no reason to feel alone and overwhelmed. Perhaps some of my life lessons will be helpful ones for you to consider as well.

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3 TOP Principles To Practice NOW for a Deeper Connection

Developing (and maintaining) a sense of connection with a friend, significant other, or co-worker may seem out of reach sometimes but I’m a firm believer you can authentically create connections that work for you!

Here are my top 3 principles I’ve personally used in 2020 to help increase my sense of connection with friends, family, and in my dating life: 

Be Curious

Start questioning everything! Be genuinely curious about who they are. This is how deeper connections are formed. Be curious about their thoughts, their needs/wants, and their dreams and goals. Learn what drives them. Ask questions that inspire a thoughtful response.  

Listen Listen Listen

During difficult conversations in my last relationship, I used to find myself thinking: “When is it my turn to talk?!” and this totally kept me in my head! I wasn’t truly listening to what my partner was saying. So in turn, my partner would feel dismissed and unheard. I had to learn how to be fully present and engaged in the conversation. This took practice. And I believe you can do it too. The next time you’re on a zoom call or IRL: be present and silence any distractions. Connect with your partner’s real message, and ask clarifying questions. Make sure you truly understand!

Celebrate them

Have you ever received a compliment from someone and instantly felt really amazing about yourself? People like to feel seen, heard, and understood. When was the last time you showed that special someone you appreciate them? This could look like complimenting them on a quality you admire most about them or providing an act of service you know will put a smile on their face. 

  • What would happen to your relationships if you started practicing this today? 
  • How would they respond to your connection? 
  • What difference does this create in your relationships? 

One person has the power to change a relationship.

Everything can start with you. 

Begin now.

Schedule a Free Discovery Session to learn how to start practicing this today. 

Find out more about Single Girl’s Kit and how this will be the best decision for 2021 you will make for yourself today.