I have been experiencing a feeling lately that is pretty darn hard to shake. It’s the one where Gratitude is Sold Out.
You know when you go to a store looking for something specific, knowing exactly what aisle it lives on, ready to quickly grab it and go? You’ve already bought it in your mind. You’re practically pulling out your wallet as you approach the product. This time, when you show up, it isn’t there.
You ask the clerk, “Hi there! Is there any more of this?”
“Sorry, we’re sold out.”
That’s it; full stop. Maybe I can check another store, maybe I can order it online, but as far as it goes here in this store, I am walking out empty handed. We simply move on.
In certain situations in our lives, sometimes Gratitude is simply *Sold Out*. Our internal clerk says, “Sorry, no more. Can’t help you. Move along.” When all has gone to sh*t, and there’s seemingly even more on the way, it’s simply unthinkable to pick up some good’ol Gratitude.
This, just like every other energy in our life, is an energy. It is there for a reason, serves a purpose and can be transformed. So how do we respond when Gratitude is Sold Out?
One way is to play the catastrophe game. The absolute bottom-out, unbearably indulgent, utterly ridiculous pity party fiesta.
Why? Because the inability to see or feel gratitude stems from a frame of mind, not from our objective experience. If we’re missing out on gratitude, we’re probably missing out on a lot more. Something is holding us back. So if something needs to be felt, heard, or expressed–let’s address it. Lack of gratitude can be a passive-aggressive sign from our deeper selves that something is off, going unaddressed or needs to be expressed.
The voice that nags–that is judging our experience, saying that what we have isn’t enough, should be different or better, or doesn’t matter, is clearly unhappy with something. Instead of calling it ungrateful, annoying or selfish, what happens when you give it some real air time and stay present with what it has to say?
See just how badly the pity party can get. What is fun about this is the freedom to indulge in the story. The “he-said-she-said,” “that’s not fair” and “why me”-s are free to run wild. Let it all hang out. Stay present for all of it. Listen intently and compassionately to yourself and validate your own experience. You can even try calling a friend and giving the disclaimer, “I need to get this out and be witnessed in my anger, sadness and despair. Can you hold this space for me?” Know that you can write this entire sob story, make it the next best drama-filled reality TV show on Netflix and still re-read it and choose a different life without ever having to act it out in your life. This is conscious living.
Allowing all parts of ourselves to own their respective stories allows us to take a step back from our feelings of anger, sadness and worry and choose what we want to take with us. Allow yourself to be human, to feel and express it all and also to evaluate before choosing. Is this really how I feel? How do I want to feel? What is actually going right here?
Sometimes we need to dip into the sob story to understand our power to change it. The difference is that we are doing it consciously. This is how we move ourselves out of victimhood and into agency. So try on a new story and see how it feels, even if it means finally having the pity party you haven’t allowed yourself to have. Gratitude will surely come back into stock.
This is a great video that can help remind us of the daily gifts we are missing out on, but don’t reject yourself when Gratitude is sold out. We all run out sometimes. Trust yourself.
With love and light,
