Don’t forget to check in on your strong friend….
This quote came up in a conversation with some coach friends recently. We were saying how things lately have felt unusually hard, a little depressing, and like we could not shake the feeling. I really related to this as I too have had my moments.
Coincidentally, later that day, I saw someone share an article from Huffington Post Women on Instagram titled “It is not you. A lot of us are hitting a pandemic wall.” And I noticed the connection, it made a lot of sense, the feeling of burn out, managing expectations, continuing to live through restrictions, fear, and uncertainty for “a little bit longer.”
I shared the article on my social media, which resonated with so many, and one friend replied, “A good winter can be tough. A pandemic winter can be crippling”… and well, it really hit home! (I live in NY, so our winters are cold and outdoor life is pretty much not an option, so I’ve felt a bit isolated and honestly, tired of pandemic life).
As a coach, what I have noticed during this time (and during any conversation that sometimes is a little more emotional and heavier than a traditional coaching conversation focused around goals, intentions, and taking action) is that sometimes it is a matter of simply talking to someone, sharing what is on your heart and your mind, and dare I say venting. I am usually the person who will preface a complaint with “I am not one to like to complain ….” Yet I caught myself saying that recently and thought to myself, “it is ok to give myself a moment, to accept that I am feeling a certain way about something, to pause and understand what I am feeling and why I am feeling that way”
We are women, moms, daughters, friends, leaders, team members….
We wear so many hats, and often times we stand strong for others. However, there is only so much we can do for others without acknowledging what we are managing. So, it is ok to take a moment and release the notion that we “have it all together” or to bypass our feelings and make like they are not taking a toll on us.
I’m embracing the choice to take ownership of how I feel, having compassion for myself, acknowledging that things are hard, and it is ok to pause and take a moment because I am tired, drained, overwhelmed, all of the above.
However, I have a choice, and I know this. Each day is a new day with the opportunity for a new perspective. When I find myself “down”, I observe myself, and then I will do something to disrupt the pattern and “shake things up”. If I continue to sit in my moments, and do nothing differently, that is exactly where I will stay. Awareness is the most important thing, creating a new choice based on that awareness is where the magic happens.
Here are some things that help me “shake things up” and make a new choice, set a new mood, and have a new perspective …
- Breathe – close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, and breathe in and out slowly and deeply
- Meditate – there are so many guided meditations
- Journal – just free flow, write what is on your mind, observe and acknowledge your feelings without judgement and think “wow, that is interesting”
- Go for a walk outside
- Do something you love and enjoy – bake, dance, play music in your home
- Laugh! My favorite thing to do!
- Surround yourself with people who make you happy
So check in on your friends, and check in on yourself.
If you need help or want to talk to someone, reach out. In speaking to a client just this week about a highly emotional topic she said, “I felt compelled to share this today as it was on my heart. Thank you for giving me the space to share what was on my mind. I feel much better and was able to work through my emotions much faster than if we had not spoken through it” and she left the conversation with a new perspective, a new approach, and a whole lot of acceptance and compassion for herself. If you can relate this is something you would like to work through and explore for yourself, set up a free discovery call with me!
